My intuition was accurate this time... thank god..really...i'm saved from the what i call 'trap'...thus, the planned mission was terminated...was quite close to the execution time...the effects were great..kind of feeling happy...actually i dunno what i'm feeeling...its all mixed up again...unidentified feeling...no more restrictions...it feels so good to be wild again...this could be the one...this could just be the fuel that can help me succeed...blessings i disguise i think...probably u won't understand what i'm saying...why? cuz i dun want anybody too..

And Hanafi...i'm heeding ur advice...actually i've alresdy thought of making that move but i was not really convinced..so in a way you 've helped me...thanks...however the reason for it differs...its not the qn of worth...

But i think things arte getting dangerous...i've lost my supressor for my anger...i think i'm going to get agitated more easily....u ppl won't be able to boss me around so easily again...if your actions touched the fiery part in me or rub me the wrong way...then good luck to you cuz ur going to need it...probably u'll get something from me...that depends on several factors of course...say the situation, ur background, level of maturity, whether its worth it or not...and what have you...

i really hope that i can have my focus back..for my studies that is...cuz i've lost it for about 3 yrs already...i really long for it...i want to taste the sweetness of success again...oh god help me please..cuz nobody else can...

So it was all illusions i guess..screens...but i am still seeing signs...wtf...it feels sick to be in two minds...sometimes it is seen as optimism but on the other hand...it damages you..eating u up like nobody's businesss...this is difficult..really difficult...I really dunno what to hope for now...should things remain the same or turn the other way round..whatever it is...i have no control over it..let's lead live as usual yar...eh wait a minute...some things will be adjusted...i think i did that today...finally can do it...yeah...

one more thing to address...i will cut off this particular service which i named it 'humiliation tolerance' yar..dunno whether u ppl get what i mean....i dun think i will be able to take jokes anymore...of course certain ones is still possible...but those that actually hurts me...then u'll see what happens...judge on ur own...if ur lucky u'll get away scot free...otherwise..god knows what's going to happen to you....

::: Storm is brewing...take cover!!! :::