Just some little things I feel worth noting down. Not that they are big events or anything.


Waking up was like hell as usual. Almost went out of my house later than the usual time. And just to find out that my zen stone played me out. !#$%#^&%&%


In my mind I was like thinking. Today is so gonna be a bad day. But somehow, a voice in my mind retaliates and said: Hello, its always YOUR day. You're in control boy. And being optimistic at the start of the day really helps. No kidding.


First lesson was Psychology. 2 hours of tutorial. In the beginning, I thought it was going to be painfully slow, but as the group discussion kicks in, things got much better. Made a few friends today. That's nice.


Oh yeah. Group discussion. At first it was like only the 4 of us. And then another girl joined us as instructed by the teacher. At first I looked at her, feel kinda "intimidated" because the clothes she wore were like ah lian-ish to me. And then I looked at her and noticed that her face turned kinda red. No idea why la...maybe shy or embarassed since the rest are guys. Being in year 2 already, I felt I had to "lead" the group somehow and started talking a bit. Just to start the ball rolling. And somehow she found some of the things I said to be funny although I myself don't think it is. LOL.


Oh ya. Shakeen asked me whether I was Malay. Err...yes I'm pure Malay. LOL. When I asked him why he said I looked like a Chinese. -__-" I guess that's nothing new. Later on during the day, the hairdresser who cut my hair also thought I was Chinese.


After that went to library with Jesmond. Got myself hook up to a com and watch videos on YouTube. And then went to canteen to have lunch and saw Gina! Well, she's hot as ever lor... haha...saw her with her supposedly bf like what Ben had interpreted. Anyway, didn't really matter.


And while heading for the last lecture at Business school, saw 15! I can't seem to believe its her that's why I kept looking/staring for a good 5 seconds. WTF! So paiseh la...knn...And Marcus confirmed it. So she was really 15.


While walking around at TM during break time, saw a number of babes. Hehes...at least that made my day. Other things just seem to make it otherwise. Smelly people and the likes. No music to accompany me thanks to my mp3.


And tomorrow, I have to go HQ to draw no 2. Haizz...sian ah...

Fortunately, we still won the game. By a damn close margin that is. 1-0.


I am damn disappointed with myself. 2 chances at goal but didn't put it in. Damn...haiz...duno la...wanna get angry also, no point. Wanna be emo, worse. The best thing to do now I suppose is to just think of the matches that are coming and be stronger. And definitely more confident.


I have the feeling that the rest are also disappointed with me la...feeling kinda guilty. There are just so many should have(s).


I was put to forward line by the way. I was kinda unprepared for that because I am usually put at midfield. But after today, I think I can contribute more when I'm playing striker. Well, that's how I feel.


Was really pissed off la...really. It hurts more inside me as compared to the grazed knee that I got. Haiz...


All I ask for now is that I'm given more chances to play forward and that I score goals. I know I'm not talented. Neither am I that intelligent in the game. But what I know is I can give my utmost effort.



Chances. I don't know if I still have them.

I was damn happy when I first looked at my timetable. 2 short days and 1 off day!


But looking into it further, I realized I had lessons starting from 8am onwards for 3 days! That's the horrible side of my timetable. :(


Its already the midweek and I kind of adjusting back quite well to school. Somehow, the urge to go online is not so strong and the only reason why I'm online is because I need to charge my MP3. Should get the damn charger la...But it costs a freaking 40 bucks.


My first 2 days were okay. Teachers were so far kinda good. 2 of my modules are taught by the subject leader if I'm not wrong. Yikes...Anyway, only today that I finally saw pretty girls. LOL. Or should I put it, I only take NOTICE of them today. Surprising to me la haha...somehow, I'm no more enthralled by them. Errmmm...myabe some la.Hahahaz... :D


Whatever it is, I'm more concerned over studies this semester beacuse, the modules ain't that easy to understand. Although lesser, I would say they are pretty heavy. Furthermore, I'm taking Introduction to Psychology for CDS. Its a module that requires a lot of reading. But as long as its interesting to me, its still fine. And the ang moh lecturer was pretty entertaining. And definitely his lectures are worth coming and for me, worth the wait. I had to wait 2 hours for the lecture because it only starts at 6pm and my lessons on that day ends at 4. Can la...at least I have my friends around so not that bad. :)


Since entering poly, I realized I've done a lot of thinking, researching or dreaming if you want to put it that way. Thinking and dreaming about the future. Say, where will I be after NS? Where will I be when I'm IN NS. So on and so forth. And sometimes it scares me when I think about the negative possibilities that can happen. You don't need a lot of mistakes to set your life for the ruins. All it takes is just one. That's how it has been and always will be. Anyway, I start to question what are the things that I want to achieve and sometimes it seems pretty blur. Perhaps its because of the multiple plans or routes that I had set for myself.


Nevertheless, things may change along the way. I've experienced it myself. One perfect example is how I ended up at TP instead of SP. :) SP was where I wanted to go, say 3-4 years back? Little did I expect I would end up at where I am now. In fact, I don't think I even know if there's such a school known as TP back then.


I guess that's all for today. Having the urge to blog more but I can't think of anything to type. Hmm...okay, just for the record, playing SP this Friday. Now the real thing is here.


Transient state. F*** it.

Year 2.2. Now I'm halfway through my diploma.


Was talking to Marcus a few days ago and realized that our class was "cracked". This time its big. We are separated most probably due to the option modules that we had decided on. Nevertheless we still have one period where all of us will have to come together. :)


I can't help it but to be reminded of what one of my seniors told me about more than a year back. I ran into him at the bus stop and he got to know I would be studying at TP. He was surprised of course as any other person would be. And he went on to tell me that he knew of a friend who was in a similar situation as me. And he couldn't take it and joined NAFA halfway. I still remember the words that rang in my head at that time.

"But I'm not him."

And I'm glad that I haven't give up just as yet. And I'm not going to I suppose.


For this sem, I want to list a few things that I would like to accomplish:

1. Get my GPA to 3.5.
2. Play it cool for hockey(yeah I'm selected :D).
3. Get my fitness workout going. Especially the running aspect.
4. Eat less!!! Save more money!!! Yeah. Been spending a lot on food since I entered poly. Lol.

I guess that's about it. Though only 4 points, I think going about doing those stuff requires a hell lot of discipline. That's the main ingredient. And I lack pathetically at that for now. Shall strive!!! RAH!!!!



P.S: To all taking A-levels, may you all press on and God bless. Silently I pray that you guys won't lose hope. :)

Yeah. I know my time has yet to come. I haven't even take my NAPHA test yet. And I'm fretting over it because I don't know when I'll start my workout. Time to exercise discipline to excercise. Yup.

Anyway, I feel kind of left out with most of my friends already prep-ing to slay their A levels and already gotten their "calling". Although the difference between poly studies and JC is 1 year, it feels longer. Maybe it is longer since the starting of a new year is on April. Weird but that's how it is.

Yeah. So when most of my friends are already commanders I might just be entering NS. Hahaz...they sound old. LOL.

I got a friend who's posted to Guards.
Another one to NDU.
Another one to Commando.
And the rest I suppose go through the normal BMT.

No matter where they go to, I pray hard for their safety and that they don't come out being different or rather abnormal. Especially the one going to Commando. Right Kenny? Hahaz... :P

Being in NCC, I more or less mingle with NS guys before. But I suppose there's still more than meets the eye. And most people give negative comments when being asked about their NS life. But like what a handful of others had said too, it's all in the mind of the individual.

Hell how time flies. I just ran into Danial, my primary school classmate. He's in AJC and yeah, similarly taking As, going NS soon. Talked about some stuff and about the idea of getting the class to have a reunion. We'll see how it goes. After the exam season, it should be easier to organize. :)






Finally, I see great progress. I'm more confident now that I'll overcome it. Thanks Wilson and CM. :) Shall press on! RAH!!!



What's easy to a person may not be for another.

I thought my last week of hols will be relaxing. Instead, I need to go out more often. Good and bad la. Anyway, why I'm complaining is because I've not been sleeping well these few nights. Sucks big time la...then in the morning sleepy like one kind. Today, on the MRT going to bring food to my grandpa, I nearly dropped the food I was resting on my lap. Due to dozing off ah...


So yeah, going swimming later, technically. Then go out with CM to Heeren to meet his bro's friend or something like that. That should fill up my whole day.


Then on Thursday, meeting with Desmond and Matt at Queensway. Des needs to get his shoes while I need to get new shin pads. I've been using the one I have since Sec 1! LOL... the rubber straps had become less elastic. Instead of just strapping around, I need to tie it. And the ankle guards are just making itself more of a nuisance. :( And after that will be going off to training at TP.


Oh ya, now I remember! My shoes! LOL...I need to give it some sun tanning session and apply some "cream" on it. Rather, under it, in between the base and soles.


And another good news. I tried the compo stick Apek lend me on Monday. A TK Cruise 100. Not bad. I like it. And so I need not buy a new stick. Save money. :) Besides, the visit to Weston was pretty disappointing.They don't sell Dita compo sticks. Well, not that it matters much anyway.


And as for Friday, I'm SUPPOSED to go airport. Well that's how my hockey mates would put it I guess. LOL. Ya...Grace is coming back. But see how la...I still got Friday prayers. If the time clashes then I shall excuse myself lor...as in excuse from going with the guys to the airport la...haha...But no big deal la. If I don't go airport, then I can meet up with Shai, Husni and Co. at the mosque. :)


Then Saturday, training lor... maybe go jalan-jalan with family oso...


Oh yar...coach was talking about the 6 nation hockey tournament...maybe go maybe not la...at Delta Stadium. If going, hopefully can see all the tricks the pros have up their sleeve. It'll be entertaining.


And POL-ITE hockey games are starting next week. God bless TEAM TP. Yeah. :)

Was worried in the morning when it started to rain. I was deciding whether to go for training. And in the end, I just went. And surprisingly a lot of people turned up. Usually on Monday trainings, there will only be around 10 guys. But today, numbers fluctuate to 18! LOL...

And then there was the good news. Will have a friendly against SAJC tomorrow. 8pm at CCAB. At least that's nearer to my house. Heh. I suppose tomorrow is to replace Saturday's session since its a public holiday.

Feeling a bit sian these days. I screwed up fasting big time. Disappointing. Especially when now its going to end soon. :(

Oh ya, shuttle run today was horrendous. Almost fainted nia. Running fast on empty stomach is not a pretty good idea.



I guess its fate. It's not meant to be. Well, not like there was anything in the first place. Anyway, wish you all the best!

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

Bloody fucked up.
Sleeping on the floor was bad enough. Fine I understood.
But like they say, things can always go worse.


FUCK MURPHY AND HIS STUPID LAW.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.
I JUST CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE


FUCKERS! ASSHOLES!

Everytime when I'm about to go out, I don't feel like it. But when I already had, I enojoyed every minute of it. Weird stuff.

Anyway, bad news. Coach can only select 18 players to register for tournament. So 2 more guys will have to be dropped. The list of players have yet to be released. So ya. Just hope to make it in. If not then ok. It's still fine with me. I understand wholly. As a coach, you need the best players. That's the bottomline.

And woah, fitness again today. But less sets. And coach also said he had arranged 3 friendly matches for the coming 3 Saturdays. SP, SAJC and ITE. I(and Desmond too..haha) was so looking forward to playing SA when I realized that it falls on the first day of Hari Raya! FUCK! RAHHHH!!! I really have the feeling of wanting to beat them. I have no idea why.

Oh yeah, won the last match against SHF womens team. 2-1. Was made to run like hell. Freaking tired and out of breath.

I don't know why but this fasting month seems much like a failure to me. Haiz...And I was somewhat agitated today before I went out. Sometimes home can be a stressful place to be in. Sometimes holidays are just as fucked up as any other day.

To all those that agitated me or are going to,
SUCK BALLS.
SUCK COCKS.