Guess I've been absent for a while.



Going to be absent for a longer period of time. I'll explain some other time when I've the chance to. I'm not blogging till the case's officially closed. I fear that I might say the wrong things which will only cause more harm to me. So ya. That's all I have to say now. Hope the new year will shed some light to my life.



BLOG OFFICIALLY ON HIATUS

To have...

But not to hold.

Tercipta untukku
by Ungu


menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu

membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku

mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah

saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku

banyak katayang tak mampu kuungkapkan

kepada dirimu


Chorus:

aku ingin engkau slalu

hadir dan temani aku

disetiap langkah

yang meyakiniku

kau tercipta untukku

sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu

hadir dan temani aku

disetiap langkah

yang meyakiniku

kau tercipta untukku

meski waktu akan mampu

memanggil seluruh ragaku

ku ingin kau tauku

slalu milikmu

yang mencintaimu

sepanjang hidupku

aku ingin engkau slalu

hadir dan temani aku

disetiap langkah

yang meyakinikukau tercipta untukku

meski waktu akan mampume

manggil seluruh ragakuku ingin kau tau

kuslalu milikmu

yang mencintaimu





You, again? But why? What's this supposed to mean?
I don't know what to hope for.
I'm not hoping for anything.
For I don't want any hearts to come crashing down again.
Let fate decide.

Hahahaz... Learnt something new today from some of the female cadets.



go commando verb. To wear trousers without putting on underwear.



They were like trying to explain the above but being the not so knowledgeable CLTs, we were not aware of what they were actually trying to say. But seriously, we didn't know. Thanks to Clement who actually checked it up on the internet. Lolx...


For the first time we didn't know such a "dirty" stuff..maybe not so "dirty" la..but ya...hahaz...


3rd training with them today and I think its getting better. The armed combat that we taught them last training did not go down the drain. And I must say their improvement today was commendable, for the armed combat section only la..haha..the rest still need to work on...


I feel that the holidays are kind a short. Well, it is I guess. A few more weeks before next year begins. Man, time flies by rather quickly when you look back.


I can say the year 2006 was a sat-sat one. Not that bad la I supposed. Nothing to say anymore. Astalavista.

Went to some school today and yesterday for NCC training.





What I heard was right.





What I saw was expected.





The bottomline statement: There's a lot to be done.





And CSS NCC better not start slacking(even though they already are).





The teachers are not a problem to me so far. Though most are unsupportive, at least they are not de-supportive(if there is even such a word) of the unit. At least there is still trainings during the holidays. At least one of the teachers is concern of the standard of the unit.





The school has a pretty good history.





But it started to slide down somewhen after 2003. They achieved Gold award for that year. Dropped to a silver the year after. And eventually to a bronze in 2005. For this year, the result has yet to come. What happened during those period, I don't know. Neither do I have that much interest to find out. What pulled me to that school was that I believe they have the potential to become a Gold unit once more. And I started to have the idea on helping that school out when I was an instructor in the Specialist Course that I went this year. Because that was when I got the shock of my life. They were not ready to be Specialists.





Whatever it is, my aim is still the same. That is for both schools to achieve Gold for 2007 and hopefully stays there.





I am expecting it to be extremely difficult for a number of reasons:





1) Double work.



2) Tighter school schedule.



3) Unfavourable behaviours.



4) Opposition of plans.





Back to the 2nd school's trainings for yesterday and today, I must say me and CM have already gradually started to fine-tune the system and so far the response from the teachers and cadets are okay. There will be more changes for certain but it has to take some time.





For yesterday's training, me and CM observed and concluded on where the standard of the school is. The bottomline statement is enough to draw the picture. So we planned to start from the basics and hopefully after the CCA Extravaganza next year, we are able to start with the major changes. Even the Specialists have to be taken care of as there are some problems. The 2 problems which I think should be given most attention to are:



1) The ability to work and make decisions on their own.



2) The military knowledge that is expected of them.





And for today's training. I am damned pissed off when I heard somebody who said something that is very unbecoming of a leader.





"If I don't have 5o people by 8.30, I will call off the training."





F***-ed up attitude.







Like what Clement used to say, "You show me the leader and I know the men."(vice versa)





How can you call off a training when there's not enough people? Isn't it the same as closing down a school when one student is absent? What's the bloody point of waking up early and reporting to school at 0800 hrs just to know that training is cancelled? What's the POINT? If you are the cadet, don't YOU feel f***-ed up? If that's the system, why don't the cadets just boycott and not come for training? What message are you sending across to your cadets here??!!





I can't imagine you wearing the same uniform as me. I'm so disgraced and ashamed of your unreasonable attitude. It's your own school and yet this is how you handle them. Nonsense.







That's one big hurdle we have to overcome. But by June next year, he will be off. He better be. To have such a person in the corps, is very detrimental to the standard of the corps itself.





Frogs in a well. They have to know that frogs are not always green in colour.

LTA Iskandar, Overseas Sword of Honour Recepient(2005).

The first in SAF after 1991.

LTA Abubakar, Overseas Sword of Honour recepient(2006).

To me, its surprising. But at the same time proud to know that our local officers are the cream of the crop in overseas benchmarks. I didn't expect the next one to come so soon. One came a year after the other. I think that's totally COOL.

How I wish...well, you complete the sentence. :)

Both are previously from our local JCs, the former from SAJC and the latter from MJC.

When will the next one be from a local polytechnic instead?

Will there ever be?

Yeah...time to rejoice!!! For a short 2 weeks break. Haiz..really short holiday. I've already 3 projects lined up. Not that difficult but I think will consume some time. Darn.



Today marks the end of my term tests. 4 papers in total.



Engineering Maths 2: *tooooooot*

Electronic Devices and Circuits: Do-able

Digital Fundamentals 2: Do-able

Static of Strengths and Materials: Do-able




Yeah, started on a pretty negative basis but ended with a high note. Hopefully the results are what I expected. If not, the first few months next year will be hellish.


I'm at a total lost with the 2 weeks break time given to me. What should I be doing first? What comes after? Haiz... poly life teaches you the hard way of being independent.Its good on one hand but on the other, it is scary. The phrase, "Anything can happen" suddenly comes to life.


Oh well, off to do some planning now.


Take care people. =)

Watched the last episode of hikmah(wisdom). I must say it is really a good drama series.


Too keep things short, the story revoloves around a love affair which faced heavy and cruel oppositions and conditions but ended with everyone being enlightened with the happy stuff add-ons.


I was at a very loss state today after the Maths test. I couldn't believe that I couldn't do it. After all those exercises that I had done. After all those stuff that I took the trouble to understand. Yet, it has to conclude to this. Maybe its because I slacked my efforts as today approached. Maybe the effort I put in was just not enough. I don't know.


What I do know is that I really felt very lousy at the end of the day. And its been a while since I felt in such a way. This is only the first test for this period and I'm already on the wrong footing. Sometimes I just feel I suck big time. I had the I-lost-everything-and-what-am-I-doing-in-this-world-for feeling. Sigh...


Was searching for the word hikmah in english when I came across this article. Somehow, whatever I want to say before is reflected upon this. Its generally about how you face people with different opinions. And it make me more certain of my believes. I encourage you to read it. Ignore the Islamic stuff if you want to, but I assure you that there are some key points in which human relations can be improved.


I've got a problem.



And the answer is: Perseverance

I just caught the badminton men's single finals of Asian Games. It was between Taufik Hidayat and Lin Dan.


It was a battle between the the 1st and the 12th.


And the 12th won this time. It was pretty tense when the 2nd game was closing to the end. It was Taufik-17 and Lin Dan ahead with 20 points. I didn't know what to think. Lin Dan could have dragged Taufik to a 3rd round but he made enough mistakes for Taufik to comeback with a 20-20 tie. And yeah, it was just amazing.

My mp3 player is finally giving way. At first when there was trouble listening to the music, I thought it was the ear piece because it was a cheapo one. After I bought a new pair of earphones, it turned out that the problem is still there. #$#%^%&^ Figure out yourself what that means. It's international language.



I had been putting up with the problem for about a month or so. And I don't think I can stand any longer. Plus, I use it almost every morning when I go to school. Without music during my journey to school, I think I'll die of boredom. You know, I've nomuzikwillidiephobia. Ok, crap.



Anyways, what is so irritating is that I have to keep adjusting my ear phones, the part where it connects to the mp3 player. And on the MRT when I'm sitting down, I have to keep putting my hands inside my pocket where my mp3 is and you know, many people, many thoughts. So, if you see me fidgeting weirdly in the MRT or anywhere else, you should know what I'm trying to do.



So ya, after much thought, I think I'm going to get a new one. HOPEFULLY. I already can't buy my NFS carbon and some other stuff so this mp3 problem better work out. If I manage to make ends meet, I'll just buy a Creative Zen Neeon(512MB). I know its not the latest state-of-the-art kinda thing but hey, that's all I can afford. And at a price of 89 bucks, I think its the mp3 that suits my current situation best. Praying that this one will last longer.

























Can't live without music.

Running out of fuel lately. Though I must agree that I'm less busier than I was compared to my secondary school life? But it's getting kinda boring these days. Routine orders for most of the time. Wake up, go to school, finish and then come back home. No life is killing me. Heh.



Even this entry, I'm just typing in for fun. I am lost at what I should do. It's just one of those times whereby I just don't feel comfortable doing anything at all. Even doing nothing.



I dont't know. I feel I've been treated with unjustice. But what can I say, the world is unfair? Why do credits and good stuff always fall at the 'wrong' hands? Is hardwork even paying off nowadays? Sometimes these kidna questions keep resurfacing though I knew very well what the answers are.



It's beginning to be a season of crap for me. Hopefully it ends before term tests which kicks off next week. What the hell.


Can I last?

Marcus did an amazing discovery today. He finally came across 15's friendster(you should know what I'm talking about if you're an avid reader of my blog...hahaz)!



We are positive that 95% of the chances are that she is the one. Here's a pic which I kope from her friendster. If she comes across this by any chance then maybe I'll go into hiding. Whatever la...like I care so much. Lolz...she's the most left one. And I think I prefer her without the make-up. I prefer girls without make-up. Maybe becasue its more "natural". Wakakaka...
















Is she chio? X)