Prelims are here...well left about 1 more week +...frankly speaking I'm not aiming to go for the first 3 months in jc..anyway shan't talk about studies...

I've come across with more people these days...and it seems to show me what really is going on around in the world....

I realized, people do change...drastically. And they seem to carry out activities which I thought they wouldn't. It surprises me when I get to know about it. And these activities are so called unhealthy and morally wrong...but at times these people will arouse the desire in me to follow suit...it really bothers me when I am confronted with these desires. It is like i am being left out and i have not tasted what teenagers are supposedly tasting nowadays. its like peer pressure. sometimes I feel, i'm just too following-the-law kinda guy. But if I were to follow...its wrong..its just not apt...my job is now a student like what mr quek used to say.So im required to study. But I'm not that rigid. I allow compromises...Anyway, I see these friends of mine as those who have died in battle. the fallen ones...its sad when i recall them and what they had done...

During the holidays last week, my grandma was hospitalised. nothing really serious....when my mom suggested that I go visit her, I did. i'm not going to make the same mistake. before my uncle passed away, she told me to go and see him in hospital. But i didn't. so when he passed away, I felt tinge of regret. He's a chinese and i thought it would be good if i could talk to him more often. But fate doesn't allow it. I'm not saying my grandma is going to pass away or what(touch wood :) ) but its just that...I'm playing safe...better be safe than sorry...

So after that, my grandma was discharged and she stayed at my house temporarily. And...that is a problem...not that I blame her for it but...theres' a problem...she's going to have my room and I would have to shift most of my stuff somewhere else....this happening during prelims? Its kinda irritating...haiz...plus I have some bloody ulcers...and have problems talking....just hope that when the real "O" level comes, i'll be ok.

So yesterday night, a distant relative of mine came to visit my grandma. My distant cousins didn't come...only their parents and grandparents. when i saw them, it reminded of the crush I had with one of my distant cousin. I was really young back then..hahaz..its kinda funny when I recall about it...in fact..I think i forgot even which one was it...

Anyway when they were about to leave, the father wished me all the best....that's really unexpected...anyway, I have a dream to fulfill and the path is clear...

::: Evil flourishes when the good men do nothing :::

Came across 2 shows abt love today.

First one, some chinese show. And this question pops up. Which one would you choose? Being with someone because you have to be loyal or being with someone because you love?

Second, the MIB 2 show. Not much about it. But the twist to the end of the story some sort of jabs me in the ribs. 2 person loving each other. Perfect picture. But not for this one. They are to part due to circumstances.

Life must be lonely eh?

::: Modus Operandi ? :::

Nota: Penulis berharap agar kalimat-kalimat ini tidak dialih bahasakan atas sebab-sebab tertentu. Dia juga meminta agar perkara ini tidak diungkit-ungkitkan. Kerjasama anda smat sangat diharagai.





Aku tidak tahu apakah yang mendorong aku untuk menteterakan kata-kata ini di sini. Mungkin kerana telah sekian lama aku menyimpannya dalam hatiku sendiri. Aku tidak pasti. Dalam jangka usia yang muda sebegini, banyak perkara tentang diriku yang belum ku kenali.

Sejak memasuki sekolah menengah kira-kira lebih 3 tahun dahulu, aku tidak pernah bekerja keras untuk mencapai kecemerlangan dalam pelajaranku. Ketika itu, aku berfikir bahawa aku mempunyai cukup masa dan masih boleh berlengah. Tetapi, kemalasan itu sebuah penyakit yang berjangkit. Ia membiak ke ruang hidupku yang lain. Setiap perkara yang aku ceburi tidak dilakukan dengan sepenuh hati. Semua kerja bak melepaskan batuk di tangga. Kini, ia telah banyak merosakkan kehidupanku. Berkemungkinan juga masa hadapanku. Tetapi, seperti semua tahu, masa hadapan itu belum tentu.

Aku tidak berasa sedih apabila aku sedang mengendalikan jejari jemariku untuk menyusun kata-kataku ini. Malah, aku tidak berasa apa-apa. Hanya sedikit kesal, cukup untuk dibuat pengajaran.

Pada tahun ini, masa berlalu begitu pantas sekali. Dalam masa sebulan Ramadan akan menyinsing. Telahkah aku berjaya memperbaiki amalan-amalan ibadahku? Bagaimana pula dengan sikapku? Niatku? Terus terang aku katakan, banyak keburukan yang terdapat pada diriku. Tiada yang tahu melainkan Tuhan dan diriku sendiri. Aku kini berada di dalam perjalanan untuk memperbaiki diriku sendiri. Tetapi, aku masih belum berjaya lagi. Masih terdapat lagi unsur-unsur yang dapat menjahanamkan masa depanku.

Walau berapa buruk keadaanku kini, aku bersyukur bahawa aku telah dapat pertunjuk dari Ilahi. Sekurang-kurangnya aku tahu arah yang ingin dituju. Aku tahu apa yang hendak dicapai. Aku telah lakarkan masa hadapanku. Tetapi itu semua itu seperti kapal-kapal yang melayari lautan. Bila-bila masa ia boleh karam.

Malas. Itulah sikap yang utama yang harusku kikiskan. Aku jangkakan, ia akan memakan masa yang agak lama. Mungkin tidak sempat aku sirnakan ia supaya keputusan sijil peringakt am dapat diselamatkan. Walau apa sekali pun aku akan terus mencuba.

Aku pintakan agar cinta itu tidak akan merantai diriku di masa hadapan. Aku harap ia tidak akan dicampur adukkan dengan pangkalan hidupku yang lain. Kerana, ia telah mencemarkan sebahagian diriku. Aku tidak menyalahkan cinta. Kerana sama sekali ia tidak bersalah. Manusia harus menerima dan memberi cinta. Tetapi masalahnya, aku tidak dapat menanganinya. Kecemerlanganku dalam pendidikan telah terbantut kerana itu.

Aku tahu apa masalahnya. Aku tahu sedikit sebanyak tentang cara pnyelesaiannya. Aku tahu apa yang harus aku lakukan. Dan aku berharap, apa yang ingin aku kecapi akan terlaksana jua suatu hari nanti.


::: Yang Pertama dan Utama :::

Today is damn bad...

ok lar..not so..hahaz..

some parts of it were...

but I shan't give a rat's ass about it...

very happy now cuz for the next 2 days I'm gonna play soccer...meaning I dun have much time slot left to do nothing..

Today is kinda cool law...after study in school at around 1 me ks willy n thomas law..go somewhere law...cannot say where law...later something bad happen law...after that got to Ica there to make my passport law..more accurately rite..is to extend the passport law...then i sit down there very sian law...got nothing to do law..listen to music onliy law...then got this song hor..the title lonely law...how appropiate hor??? anyway dun mind law...until i saw on the paper say got 56 people in queue lor...wah..more sian ah....but very heng vely fast one law...after my turn den go lor...after extend my pp den call mama to ask how to go national library law...cuz new one mahz..must go..kiasu law...wah...this is when ah...even more sian ah...

so take mrt den stop at dhoby ghaut lor...then come out wrong exit..wah peng eh....then walk under hot hot sun...wah can die ah...sizziling hot...den i long time neber go der so when go there like surprise lor...they break down buildings then erect new one lor...very sian...suddenly got smu der...alamak..i think i outdated lor..lucky i go there law...update my brain...den walk walk...then cannot find the library lor...everything like so alien like that...then dunno how i walk into private residential lor...wah den the place like ulu ulu one...kns...can die..scare me oni...worst ah..i walk so more den found mount sophia rd...wah more sian...become scared like nobody business..cuz i got read ghost stories before happen der one..den I down der alone...wah...then i think i saw the gates..eh no..fence...ah fence...look like the one surround the istana one lor den i bo pian..go turn somewhere else law...scared police come find me later tot i terrorist...den i like wear sch uniform some more lor...i sweating like shit lor...den in the end...back to normal place law...wah heng ah...den walk somemore...den eh...tt one look like the natinal library leh? tall tall one...den i see i know alraedy law..correct law...wah den the mrt station nearer one is city hall law...aiyo..walk so long...like trekking like that can go marathon already law...

wah den the library hor...vely weird law....but vely cool...multiple storey one...je one also lose lor...den i take the escalator law...den the library wad sia...the up storey one hor...all reference one law...very the diao...but got foyer one den got nice scenery one...den got alot of floor one...can go there study..study english....yar..den the scenery vely nice to look one lor...wah vely nice...den i reach like 10 floor like that den i sian already so i take lift law...den i alone inside lift...take until go down to B1 law...then the lift go so fast..wah..i think i like in 911 tt time the building..wah..my lung drop to ground floor like tt...den i tot like tt oni..den i go out of lift rite den feel like juz come out of plane...the ear der got like air push push one..got stress one..like pressure...wah den pinch nose law...den do like the blow nose lik tt...wah den better...wah den the library lame law..only the basement got books to borrow lor...but i think quite big law...maybe B2 got 1 more place to borrow...dunno lah...no time explore...den i borrow 2 books law..den go home liao...

wah...i think the library waste money law..outside ah..the building look so big like tt...but go in ah..den got hollow space in between one...cuz der they erect one place to makan...one den got people sapedek der lor....i think very ex one...wah den got people dunno lah..take wad film..got sch people der...very weird one cuz the gal rite wear socks until knee der...like japan like tt....i heck care den i go law...

den got pass by the inter-continental hotel law..outside the library oni....wah den the place vely nice nice like in fairytale like tt...wah one dae i think i go wedding der...or make speech der....wah...

reach home lor...den on the way...listen to the thong hua...fairytale ah? dunno dun care lar....den i blast music den i think got people see me weird weird one...the eye like tt like tt one..haiz..cannot meh? hear nice wad...i malay cannot listen chinese song meh...aiya..multi racial wad...

so my day like tt law..i vely happy i reach home safely...2moro play soccer..yipppeeee!!!!

::: You won't get lost in Singapore :::