...its about the man next to you, and that's it.

Colonel! Colonel! They're shooting at us!
Well shoot back!

-Black Hawk Down





It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me.

- Batman Begins

It seems that there are a bit more people visiting my blog. Particularly from overseas. But I can safely say that they are just passer-bys. Nevertheless thanks for dropping by. (But don't leave your droppings behind please.)


I'll go straight the point. Someone out there is reading my blog and I suppose he/she is trying to do it anonymously. Well, that's no problem for me seriously. But I do wish that this person(s) at least leave some comment of some sort. I'm just curious to know who you are, be it a guy/girl.If not your real name at least a clue or something. I'm just curious to know. I'm directing all this to you reading excluding Clement la because I know he do drop by once in a while. And if you really, really, really don't feel/want to, well just let the matter rest. I'm not so uptight about it anyway.


And I changed my URL not really because I want to 'run away' from others or keep my blog a secret. Its just that the previous one is a bit too corny for me and I think its time I grow up a bit. And why underground? That's because most of the time, I'd rather look at people instead of them looking at me. :)


Cheers! Do keep reading my blog! And do tell me who you are! :D

Just a week ago I gave up the idea on trying. I just felt it was too f***** up.





But unexpectedly, I'm presented with new information today and hell. It really set me thinking. Should I or should I not?





Why must it be she was/is in b***?

Ok, maybe that can be overlooked.

But the same play thing?

Due to that my heart is more willing to believe that its more than just coincidence.
What's all these suppose to mean? To go for it would mean to be more likely of making a new mistake. To stop right here would mean more likely of repeating a mistake.




But that's not the primary issue right now. The thing is, should I open up the chances? Even, the number was found out.





The network is up.





Now its time to decide.





To start or not to start.






Frankly, what's bothering me is the previous.

I'm not talking about the forces of physics here though I won't deny the 'high' feelings that I experience upon 'contact' with Gs. Don't attempt to read on if you don't understand. Its just a personal note for myself anyway. :)


Recently, there are a handful of Gs that cross my life and it somewhat set off ripples of emotions. Somehow, new ones keep coming up and replacing and it throws me into confusion. Not that I have a clear chance but then again, looking at them is enough to make my day.

Like today, there was this particular G which was alone and wow...The look of innocence just melts me. The rosy red cheeks. Simply... I'm lost for words. And M told me that we had already seen her since Year 1 but hell, I can't remember. But what I know is that my attention is surely grabbed by this one. And the number 5 is being given.

Another G is from P class. I can still remember the sheepish smile thrown to me last week. Whoo...so much for Psychology. This is definitely a vivid memory. No retrieval cue required.

And before P lecture, saw 15. As usual, I pretend not to see her though I think she saw me. I simply walked pass without looking. I always payback what's given to me. Ignorance with ignorance. And I that's just where my strength lies. Ignorance. And hell, who was that bloody kuku who shouted my name and say I sucks??!!! Being in Business school when that happened was already bad enough. The crowd that was there at the concourse plus 15 being close-by??? What the heck??? LOL... Thanks to whoever that guy is now people know my name la huh...


I wish to see 5 again! RAH!!!!

All 4 games had come to an end.

1 win.
2 draws.
1 loss.

That results in us TP getting 3rd placing. Well, 3rd out of 5 schools. Nothing much to be proud of.

But for me, there are things to be proud of. Personal achievements. Did played it cool for most of the time. Nevertheless, I think I still need to brush up on my basic skills like trapping the ball dead, hitting and so on.

Picked up meaningful stuff here and there. I'll just summarise them into points.

- Pressure. Give it to people(in competition context) and when you receive some, fling it away. I've come to realize that the only pressure there is, is from yourself. Whatever pressure you receive from others has to come through you. And then comes 2 choices: 1) Push it aside. 2)Convert them into pressure for yourself. And subconciously most of the time, people will tend to follow the latter.


- Anger won't help you. Infact its detrimental to you and in this case, the team. Oh well, what's done is done. I don't disagree with the coach's decision.


- Remain optimistic. That's what W told me. As a forward, be optimistic. Quoting from him,"You have to think that everything is beautiful. You have to think that the ball will always come to you and therefore be ready for the passes."


I am looking forward to next season. Till then its time for me to properly build up my fitness and skills. We'll come back stronger. And I think the team needs to put in more commitment in the team through out. I think we are lacking in that and that's why we are not that comfortable playing with each other.


Hopefully, we can make it to champions next year. Because only the champions matter.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


With all the hockey frenzy over, its time to go back to studies. And I think I'm in deep shit. Missed a lot on lessons. And term tests are like just few weeks away? I better get my ass up and running.


Why do Gs come and go? Like...haiz...maybe I'm just not fully ready afterall. I guess I'll just stand at the sidelines and see others play. I must say recently I felt like hopping in but then circumstances are pulling me away.

Cock up.
Damn cock up.




A piece of good news for me. According to recent self-analysis, I'm gaining more confidence hence being more decisive.

I'm cool. :)


When will I see your face again?
By Jamie Scott and The Town.

Yeah. Went out yesterday with my hockey mates(guys and girls) to visit Loga's house with Deepavali being the occasion. I was rather excited since I'm venturing into a relatively new place. Whampoa area. Seems kinda different from other Singapore estates. Cool stuff.


After slacking there for hours, we made our way to Pradap's house for dinner! At Sengkang sia...and that was the last house so I had to leave from there. More on that later.


At his doorstep there was this drawing and we were not suppose to step on it or something. Well, it looks too pretty to be stepped on anyway. Some kind of religious thing. Oh, and something funny happened. Went I saw Pradap's father I think he said " Hi uncle." LOL. I got look so old meh...walao...haha... anyway his parents are kinda nice la...they keep assuring me that the food is halal and say its from ntuc and stuff...lol...kinda funny when I look back.


Actually I was more happy because I talked/disturbed more to the girls today than during training days la...haha... :D


And then its going home time. Took 161 to Woodlands as advised by Shakthi. Thanks to him my journey home was not that long. :) The bus took the TPE and SLE that's why it was quite fast.


NCC workplan seminar today. Met Clement to have breakfast first and didn't expect to see ahem ahem... the usual stuff...probably I wasn't fully awake yet that's why I was a bit blur...LOL. Haha, weird la the girl and it wasn't my intention to sit at a place where I could see her in full vision. Haha. And no, I bought hotcakes meal because I want it and not because she bought it. Not like I knew what she was eating when I ordered. LOL. Nevertheless very happy la. Haha. :) Then Mr Faizal was already waiting to pick us up and I sort off gobbled my food and ciao. Was a bit sudden ah...


It was totally boring la the whole thing. The only a bit more ineteresting was by the Director of Nexus. Other than that, I think I dozed them off. :O


And even more funny was what happened after that. We were supposed to take a bus to visit the Army Museum but then we "turtle away"(in West district terms) and went for lunch outside.


With all due respect but today I find that the teachers are not as old as I thought they were. The way they disturb each other. The way they talk. The things they do. I just sat there giggling inside. Hahaz...


Something that I've been reminded by what others say, "The women folk add colours to life."
Haha. So true. I'm a happy man. :)

ITE vs TP

Scoreline: 1-1


At least I felt more composed today.
At least I received a smile today.
And that really sum it up that today isn't that a bad day.


Like what coach said, "Its going to be a rough ride."

Got this off from someone. Been kinda searching for it.


"On no soul does God place a burden greater than it can bear."
[Al-Imran]


Tempted to do all the bad things.

Drinking.
Sex.
Smoke.
Grinding.
Rebel.
Spouting vulgars.
Heck the future.


Stop me.

Nature(heridity) vs Nurture(Environment)
Who'll win?