Had a FRIENDLY game of hockey recently. With NP. But the game didn't stay true to its name. It all became pretty ugly.


I hate it when people quarrel.
I hate it even more when people fight.
Above all, I hate it the most when people lose control of their emotions.
And that means: being emotional.
And all that applies to me as well.


Maybe because it is one thing that I've no control in. Not even influence.


I didn't expect the rain to carry a foreboding meaning of the game. I must say we were blessed that the rain came. If we were to had started earlier and played longer, things will most likely turn out for the worse.


Fuck it la...it was just a friendly. For god's sake. I'm not blaming any sides here because I think both sides are equally to be blamed. They(some) played the dirty game. And we lost our control too easily. Psychologically we were weak. Fucking vulnerable.


All I hope for now is that my team don't turn on each other and pass negative remarks.


The coach was right. Whatever he said during de-brief. You can't lose your head in the game. Infact, you can't lose your head most of the time in your life. Because, you'll lose other things. Things which might be of more importance.


I was once told, the heart and the head runs in a close circuit. You lose control of your heart. You'll lose your head.


Hope this incident is another reminder for me and the others.





Something that's off the topic:

Some things aren't just as simple as how you make it out to be.
Some things just don't have a definite answer.
In life, its not like maths where 1+1=2.
In life, you have to accept that some things just happen.
With or without a valid reason.
And that's when we learn.

Sorry sir for the late response. I'll shoot right now sir. Let's bring the rain.


1. The person who tagged you:
CEGYX

2. Your r.ship with him is:
Brader in arms. Yeah, we handle weapons together.

3. 5 impressions you have of him:
- Ever so dedicated when doing what he loves. I mean seriously.
- He dares to fight. Sometimes on the spot. When he knows he's right la...
- He loves Crescent. I won't be surprise if he already bought a house in its proximity. LOL.
- Very friendly and approachable. So unlike me. Haha.
- Photo-gene-ic (as in photography is in his genes you know)

4. The most memorable thing he has done for me:
Helped me send in my parade claim to HQ which is at YCK. (In local context, its far.)

5. The most memorable words he said to me:
Megatron is here.

6. If he becomes your lover, you will:
That will never happen. Period.

7. Things he needa improve on:
-Control over emotions.
-Perhaps stop and think before doing or saying anything. Well, I'm on my way of doing this too.
-Not to idolize others too much cause ultimately you can't 'copy an paste' their attributes to emulate. In my view, it won't work. That's why I prefer going the traditional way. Strengthen your strengths and weaken your weaknesses.

8. Overall impression of him:
- He'll make a good friend, lover and a soldier. HOO-YAH! :)

Spiderman.
Constantine.
Hitch.


Only a few know about THE similarity. But I guess none remembered. Cause it doesn't matter anymore.


Finding: A book on the movie Constantine.

Treading on the line. That's what it was like this morning.


From the wee hours of the morning having my sahur to the minutes just before the sun sets in. The weather was the main culprit. Blazing hot sun with clouds passing by rarely. Sitting on the bench was tiring enough. And when it was my turn to play, it was too hot for hell to break loose. But they said I ran a lot. Which I think was the reason why I was in such a bad shape after training.


Resting time was the only period to regain energy and collect back all my thoughts. Looking at the dried leaves on the ground reminded me of myself and the rest who were fasting. Our bodies were running low on water. Then it all came. Thoughts of those who are in much greater plight. Not here but somewhere out there. Where conditions like this are such a norm. How in hell can they survive all those shit?


During the games, my performance took a descent. Today is the first time I rammed into people or vice versa. And worst of all, they are girls that I'm running into. Well, that's beacuse the games I played are all against them. Sad case la...


After bathing, I felt much better but my mouth was dry till I can't feel any saliva. And at that time it was still hours away from 'liberation'.


On the MRT, it became a worse. Firstly, I felt tired but I just couldn't sleep. All I was thinking about was plonking myself onto the bed when I reach home. Then, the smell came. Damn, it f***ed me up. Couldn't stand it. Already I was out of water, now I'm also out of breath.


Reaching home was a wonder suddenly. And the next thing I knew, I couldn't sleep again! F***ed U*!


And when I finally break fast, I could sense multitudes of feelings: enlightenment, euphoria, relief, accomplishment. Drinking tea was a jubilation. Was sort of on the verge of tearing. Hahas...


The day of temptations. The resistance. The patience. It was all paid off (though it would be better if the Sakura idea were to have turn out) in return for a lesson learnt. Oh ya, did I mention the hordes of people who were drinking and eating away. It was all so...RAHHHHHH!!!


Overall, I was glad I didn't gave up fasting half way through the day. Others were eating chocolate cakes/muffin/brownies and gulping down 100 plus and water. It was again all so....RAHHHHHH!!!







It was a hell of a day. But it all ended well.






Off to my chendol now! :)































The start of a new beginning? Or is it just my wishful thinking? God , lead me to the right path. Ain't wanting anymore regrets.

Ran my lungs out just now. Today's training was as usual till fitness training sets in. Ran 100 yards for four times. That's 1 cycle. Did 5 cycles with rests in between. Bladdy tiring. Especially for me who hasn't been training. Who just ate a date and drank a few mouthfuls of water. Well, the other Muslim guys were'nt better off.


But I must say, its far from Mr Lim's training. That, you won't die. You'll only be on the verge of it. I still remember those times. Training for at least 3 hours under the hot sun during the fasting month. But it was cool though. Pretty cool.




Just something random to type about.


I don't give a cent to beggars. Especially in Singapore. If other 3rd world countries, maybe. But then, when I went to Thailand a few years back, doing such thing might just backfire. Such an action has the potential of attracting more. And then you're dead meat. You should look at those children begging on the streets in such countries. It might move you to tears. Especially those rich bastards who doesn't give a hoot about those less fortunate around them.


Okay, I'll quit digressing.


Learning from the history of our country and the teachings of Islam, keeping on giving them money won't solve the problem. That's very true and I've seen it for myself. The same faces every Friday afternoon.


I'm not being heartless here but seriously, when will it end? Even worse still, those who are able-bodied do the same thing. Resort to begging. In Singapore, as long as you have the energy and ability to move and think like a normal human, you can find a job. Even those who are handicapped can find one.


They say as the world becomes older, the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer. Pretty degrading for the human race. And its even more dishearthening if the people themselves don't realize it.






























Randoms:
1) I can't take the smell of alcohol coming from people. It just stinks.
2) Met 4 people I know in just a time span of 2 hours. Unbelievable for a person like
me.
3) I'm having difficulty getting out of my emo shit. Shit.
4) I think we really need to find out more about ourselves. Our history, our heritage,
origins.
5) I like people with attitude.
6) I like hawt shawtys. Haha...




I Got it from my Momma by Will.I.Am
Get it Shawty by Llyod
Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') by T-Pain feat. Yung Joc
Bartender by T-Pain feat Akon

Learnt something new today. Sort of answered my question that I had for quite a while.


Tradition is only a tradition when you know what's the meaning behind it.

Hockey.
Soccer.(Finally!)
Dodgeball.


Went to school yesterday. Initially to play hockey. But then I saw Shak and Jojo but they were there to play soccer. So in the end, instead of playing hockey, played soccer. Hahaz...haven't touched soccer ball since don't know when. Dodgeball was fun. Played till I even forgot that its time to break fast. Yea...we had one ball only so had to modify the game abit. Eh...it became Taiwanese Dodgeball. Some internal joke thingy...


After that went to had dinner with Apek. Chatted a lot about hockey.


Reached home feeling a little hungry. Ate a bit more. And then somehow I felt pretty tired despite not doing much during the day. Mind tired. Body tired but my eyes just can't seem to shut off. Had some trouble sleeping these few nights. Had some disturbing dreams too. Luckily nothing about CSSNCC. It'll be my worst nightmare. :(

Today.
Today.
Today.


I shall retreat.
Knowing that I've done whatever I can.
Knowing that my conscience is right.


CSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCCCSSNCC



I've mentioned before that I joined hockey just for recreation purposes. But with how things are now, I find that I need to change my mindset. I believe I'm good enough to make it to the team. At least on the bench. To be the first 11 would be tough but I would like to be at least be there. Last year, the guys got 2nd. This year the pressure is on us to get 1st. And the school made with us a deal. We come in tops, and we get a new pitch.


Now, why do I want to be part of the team is that I want to fight for that new pitch. Basically because the pitch we now have is in crappy condition. Like what the coach said, the pitch is so bad that it can be dangerous for people to play.


So, the fight will be for a better and safer pitch. Yeah.

Like what the old folks say, life is full of ups and downs.


Fasting starts tomorrow. It feels too quick to be true. Some things are meant to be done while the rest are supposed to be left untouched. Anyway, life should go on as per normal despite the fasting period. How hard can it be right? Just don't eat and drink what...Yup it is easy till you find out more and till you experience the different blows of things that attack your will to continue fasting till dusk. Fasting is not only about restaining oneself from drinking and eating. Its about restaining from doing bad stuff too.


Went down to HQ to conduct some test for cadets today. Well, same old shit again. This time it was kinda kick ass but somehow I don't see the teachers daring enough to do their bullshit stuff that much. They did the usual things they do but not in full steam. And I find that all you need to do was to be on firm ground and not get swayed when confronted. It was because we have these kinda people in HQ that many CLTs had their assed covered. At least they(the SAF personnel) understand our position. I'm glad that at least there are people out there who still cares about CLTs. Somehow I feel like we are more of brothers to each other helping one another. I guess that's the silver lining.


I supposed I was right all along. The possibility that CSS NCC is coming down is pretty much running high. I'm not being a sadist or what but all I want is that these people will really open their eyes and wake up from their dream. Hah...Gold unit...its pretty difficult to find one genuine one these days.


Have you ever felt the kind of dissapointment that followed suit after failing in something when you actually did all you can? All those effort that you put in. All those time that you burn. All gone to waste. It creates a pretty deep wound. You fight hard for that something you love and eventually its to no vail. If you're telling me to press on, then I must say my time here is not going to last that long. But reality can't be that cruel right? Of course. That's because reality is much more cruel. It doesn't stop there and here comes the showdown: the dog(s) bite(s) the hand(s) of the feeder(s).


???

And more ???


Dey, we are trying to help you here. But what do you give us? Lack of enthusiasm is one to name the few. Unwillingness to allow us to help. Dang. WTF are you trying to say? I am noob can? And the biggest loophole. You don't trust us. -___-" Fucking waste of my time.


I occasionally receive this kinda treatment. The things I worked damn hard for don't produce the desired results. But for the things I do with moderate effort I get better results.


Somehow I don't feel comfortable wearing NCC No.4 outside. Different people have different views on people who don on the uniform I'm wearing( SAF people excluded ). Its funny because just today I encounter to incidents.


Incident #1: Board the train heading to YCK at JE. While on the way, received sms to move to 1st cabin. While making my way, I can feel and noticed that people are looking at me. Its kinda embarassing but hell I don't know what they are thinking. Most likely is because they rarely see people with this kinda uniform. Its not a common thing to see CLTs wearing uniform outside. That I know.



Incident #2: Was at the interchange going home when some lady approached me and asked me about all kinds of financial stuff. Then at the back of my mind I know she thought I was some guy from NS or something. Her first question was: When you ORD? Then after that she keep on asking questions about poly and stuff. Probably just to cover her paiseh-ness. LOL..then after a few seconds, another guy came and he also ask similar things. Haiz...embarassing moment for me again. People are looking ah...LOL...fine...I'll just leave the matter here.



Like what the title says, its all coming. My results were just released. My GPA did not budge much. It increased by a fraction. Not that noticeable. Still trying to push it over the 3.5 line. What saddens me is that the subjects I aimed to get A got a B. And it certainly frustrates the hell out of me. Haiz...nevermind. Shall keep pushing. With ______ gone, I shall do abit more for my studies.



Let the good people stay. Let the evil ones perish in the deepest part of hell.

Yeah. Not going to be a pretty postive post despite the pretty happy moments that I had these past few weeks. I'll touch on the happening stuff probably later.

So went down again today. Just to have my blood boiled. What's new eh? So training was generally disorganized. One look and its not a planned training. Then again, what's new.

The harsh method was implemented and so was the 'softer' method. Well, if both don't work then tell me what's the third one. And fuck it, don't tell me in between.


From the months being a member, I can conclude that most of them nowadays are pretty weak. Physically and mentally. For the physical part, its pretty straightforward. Why do I say mentally weak? Basically because: 1. Can't take it when people nag at them. What more scoldings.( i.e cannot take feedback) 2. Sometimes lack the 'bright ideas' of doing things.


And another conclusion. Hypocrites are pretty much necessary in this world. Not those hardcore ones but those that are hypocrite when the time is right and essential. Why do I say that? That's because not everyone in this world are receptive towards feedback. Its the same concept as nobody likes eating medicine. Bitter, but it is there to heal. To rectify. So 'good hypocrites' will identify these kinda people and avoid as much as possible not to create a big fight or create and uproar. Especially when peace, relationships or anything thats worth are at stake. Anyway, its pretty difficult for me to bring across what I'm trying to say. Perhaps, to understand it is to experience it yourself.


I find it pretty funny. We are fighting for the same thing and yet we are in a silent war. Unless of course if you are not fighting for the same thing. Then I guess its a different story. After a while, after giving it some thought, I find that probably our priorities differ. What's more important to me is what they eventually bring with them when they leave this school. Awards and fame as expected, are behind story. And hell, I don't know whats your priority. If you are still holding some grudge against us, then all I have to say is that that's your fucking problem. You're the one whose going to live with it. Plus, you're losing double because whatever bad things you think of us is ain't true.


One more thing to you and your followers. Face up to reality.


And for you, thanks for using us for the past months. Since you don't trust us anymore, I shall personally step back and turn away. You can listen to him all you want. I'm not losing anything here. I guess its just time that you fend for yourself.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Some highlights for the recent times.


Highlight #1: Hockey camp was damn fun despite the many trainings. It was enjoyable. And I must say I gained useful stuff.


Highlight #2: Dinner with the other 3. Its been a long time since we had such a occasion. Thanks Willy for organizing.


Highlight #3: Got some new play thing. Ermm.....ya. Very clean one.


Highlight #4: Got to meet my Brunei friends. They came over to Singapore.



And perhaps a few more moments of which I can't really recall. Anyway, exam results will be out on Thursday. Pretty anxious about it. Oh wells...that's all. :)

Suddenly lost the interest in blogging. Not that there's nothing to ramble about but its just that I don't feel like blogging. Till next time.

Watched 3 recent movies in a row. Not that recent but all of em were released here this year.



1. Die Hard 4.0



2. Transformers.


3. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix







Well, I suppose all were good. But I'm more attracted to Die Hard and Transformers. Damn cool stuff. And pretty hard for me to find the climax. Its like the storyline is almost at its peak all the time. Especially for Die Hard. I think John is cool. :) I like his kinda people.







Things that I find hot in the movies:






Bumblebee!!! Yeah, small but courageous. I like...






















Protect...

Aha....of course...the Chervolet Camaro...

The magic kinda caught my attention. I won't say the gals aren't beautiful but they're not the sweeping-off-my-feet kind. I know they're only in their teens. They have some growing up to do.

























Ahem...Maggie Q? Hehe find her kinda sexy. At times. I don't know. Sometimes she looks nice but sometimes not. Funny.

Actually have more hot things in mind but nah...I won't blog it down. Like the Raptors and other transformers stuff. First time I saw a 18-wheeler sort of drift. And the F-35s are kinda pretty.




Well, had pretty good days for the time being. Hope it will last to at least next week. That's because I'll be spending my time outside of home.




For the mean time, ADIOS and have pleasant hols for Poly people and jia you for people having or going to have major exams in a few months.

Aiyo...I think blogger have personal stuff with pics. What's just their problem? :(


That makes you that guy.