Hey...was thinking about the title for this entry...thought of putting ''bits and pieces'' but then I typed ''beats and peaces"...hmm...where did that come from?


Whatever it is, the title has nothing to do with this entry...


Craps man... feeling very out of control for these few days lately... luckily the guys at work could crack some jokes...at least that keeps me sane enough to live through the days...its been rather fast...february is getting to a close soon in about a week's time...frankly I can't wait to get the JAE results... the curiosity of it kinda killing me...


Feeling rather lonely too these days....like I'm outcast or something....not that I don't have friends around me...or rather I have working colleagues... I'm starting to miss sec sch days... it's earlier than I expect it to be... before graduating, I didn't even think that I would miss my sec school... because the last year was linda bad...well,not all bad of course but....so so la...haiz...
Miss coming to school and wearing the same school uniform as other schoolmates...now I think uniform does play an important role....even though it is just something that you wear....it makes you feel attached to something...makes you feel belonged... well now I'm going to be out of uniform....I better get use to it...


But most of all, I miss CCAs....those were the very fun-filled times....oh man only if I could reverse time...


Ok...I'll stop the nonsense.


No...I'll move on to something else...a bit different...


Does money allows you to have more friends and thus more fun and activites? I'm getting pretty uptight recently because of money matters...my parents and I have clashing understandings on these things...I feel like I'm losing out comparing myself to other peeps...they get to spend on this and that while I have to earn it myself...and my parents are hinting that I should be contributing to the family....I'm like wtf? In the first place, my pay is so tiny like bird shit....and CPF will absorbed some (this I don't mind)...and whats there left for me...? Though I must say my work is not that exhausting or energy draining...but I still have to wake up early and go home only in the evening...ya...i know I shouldn't be spending all my money but hey, I'm all enough to think of all that....i'm old enough to paln my things....I'm old enough to THINK...though many think I'm foolish and stupid..well that's because they only see me on the surface...but to hell to that...


I've always been watching out on my finances since I started to move into sec school....setting aside some of my allowances and coping with some small payments...I must say the fasting month is good training...somehow, funnily, I manage to pull through those times...makes me wonder sometimes....those moments were too many to be coincidences....there'll always be something to help out....its kinda fascinating to me...and yeah those years of ''training'' kinda forming me into an accountant or something....haha...maybe I should take up one of the business courses....haha...NO. Never will I do that...money is driving me nuts, crazy and up the wall...I've had enough of such stresses on my head....


Ok...guess I'll just end here...oh ya forgot about one more thing....


I have a source for blue films..acquired such a source recently....hmm...very tempting...nah...won't do...I think I'll just forget it...but I did get to watch a violence movie...yesterday night...it was my first pretty gross and violent movie..its SAW 2...it's really interesting the storyline...with a lot of twists...very good....and the movie is saturated with the f words...there were so many of them....and yeah...its RA kind...the violence kind not the sex kind....ya...and...


There will be blood.....


Muahahahaha.... :)


I'm always unsure of the next step and that's what makes life so exciting.

Ok..so I'm a bit late...others have already posted about their results yesterday night because of the obvious reason and that they did pretty well and have gotten what they wanted...as for me...i kinda expected what I had gotten 2 A2s, 3 B3s and 2 C6s...the C6 grades are spoilers I think...could have gotten a better L1R5 if one of thoes grades pushes up to a B3 or something...oh wells..its done anyway....but kinda funny lo my grades..should have a 1 A1 so that can complete the pattern hahaz...


Ok so I got 19 before the bonus pts...16 after including the bonus points...HMT really helped me in this one...can still remember those gruelling days...had to travel to CCK for lessons...reach home nearly in the evening...those days were damn tiring...really..that time felt like giving up hope...but I know that today, or rather yesterday, it will help me...so yeah...those days were over and new challenging days have yet to come....


I'm going Poly...decided already..confirm plus chop plus guarantee...so that would mean using my L1B4 which is 13 minus 1 because of CCA...so got 12....


Oh ya...why I didn't blog yesterday was because I was checking out the various Polys websites to see whether there were any updates...they posted the cut off points and the number of intakes and yeah....I should be able to go to where I want to go.....yeah...I also went to RSAF website and hey....I've just dicovered new routes to old dreams...now I have multiple routes...yeah...


After the results were released yesterday...went out of school and so Hanafi and so we had a bro to bro talk about our results of course...we had about the same points...only a difference of 1 or 2...for us, we had our visions on where we want to go...we have long term plans and we know what we're doing...and then as we sat and talk...people started passing by as in our schoolmates...and we started to ask them how they did well and so on...and both of us realised something...these people had scored better..much better grades than us and they're going JC...then when we asked them about their ambitions the reply would be..dunno....so here we saw the difference between people..I mean...you don't have plans for your future?? Are'nt you worried or are'nt you concern?? I don't know....different people different mindsets I guess...they have their own ways and we have ours....so I'll just hope the best for them...


Me and Hanafi have similar ambitions but our routes differs slightly in terms of the courses we apply and some other stuff...we have set our sights on certain things and we have no plans of only stopping at Dip....we have palnned to excel in Poly then enter the SAF and the scholarships and all...yeah things like that...insya allah...we'll get to go where we want...the main problem that I foresee now will be influence by those peeps who'll be in Poly...not all of them will have the same mindset as us...we have dreams to catch...for some others...they might not have...so the thing is to not be influnce by them...have to be make concious effort on that...


My feeling about my results..mixture of happy and sadnes...life in CSS had thought me to look at things in different perspectives...sad that my results did not reach that of an expected Commenwealthian....being eligible for JC is one thing...being able to be go to a good JC is another...so ya...sad la...can't pull off a bigger stunt...prelims was like 26 and now 19...ok la...expected more but didn't happened what to do? :(


But...I'm also happy because..my decision making process is made much easier....now my results are as such, I have chosen Poly without any doubt...no looking back....no second thouhgts...even if RJC offer me oso I won't take( haha...no chance in hell...)...so ya...and my efforts prior to the release of results aren't totally wasted....I'm prepared!!! Selection of courses will be a breeze... :)


But somehow yesterday, felt bitter dissapointment...very bitter..god knows what I was feeling yesterday...but today I'm okay...just needed a good sleep...


I'm lucky to not have very pressurizing parents...and they have lots of trust in me...they let me make my own decisions and yeah...that helps me to become a more confident person...they don't seem dissapointed in my results but I felt like screaming into their faces that the should...man..can't do anything about this..heck lo...haha... :)


I feel like I've disspointed some people...dunno..just felt like that...especially yesterday...anyway....I have a few people to thank to...

First person would be Ms Chua definitley...my maths teacher..I think I let her down this time...I kinda had the premonition that this day will come...she wanted me to get A1 for e maths but I just managed a B3...but I really want to thank her for all the encouragement that she gave me...for believing in me...I could still remember her saying these exac words to me once..." you have the aptitude for maths..." I was like so touched by that...Since day 1 in CSS..none had said that to me..even me myself...I've felt like I'm just not that type of a maths person...so ya...even though she's not my form teacher...she's been the source of encoursgement for me...one of the very few sources....


Next up will be PEI YAN!!!..Wah loa..this one ah...sleep in calss one ok...but still can get 7 pts!!! Congrats..really salute you...she's e other source of encouragemnet for me...have sat beside her in class for like 2 years and she's been really helpful..always there to support me whenever I receive degrading results especially ofr a-maths..always telling me that I could do it...she is really one hell of a partner...always cheering me up even though I want to be down or when I'm down....I kinda owe a lot to her...well for her...good luck in her future endeavours...

Ok..and next is Mr Lim...my hockey coach...he told me not to give up even though I sorta can't make it to JC...really thank him for those few but powerful wordsjust like his muscles...and of course my other hockey coach..Mdm Ros....haha...got A for her geog...if not " she wont be standing beside me" haha....those were he exact words yesterday.....I think shes' kinda dissapointed in me also for my overall poor results...


So that's it...have to rush off now...all the best to all!!!

Getting pretty lazy to blog these days...I guess my work has been sapping off my energy all this while...but actually...I could grab more sleep..like 7 hrs? Instead of the usual 4-5hrs on normal school day...


Had wanted to blog a few stuff lately...but I think I'm going to start on today....


So at lunch time, all went down to the small canteen to eat...it was raining though...didn't realized that while in the warehouse....anyway, sat outside with the other guys as usual...there was fareez, rahim and this guy from STP....after a while...Herman and Imran joined us...so we sat down talking..today's topic ranges from possession of firearms all the way to raping cases... really entertaining to listen to them talk...its like one conference discussing on world matters... I mean..I didn't really expect them to discuss about all this issues because..I don't know...maybe its just because of the stupid impressions that i have on such people....without realizing...I am already stereotyping..bad bad...


Alrite...so it all started off with the recent incident on the possesion of firearms that had occured last few days....it was about this unemployed guy using a semi-auto gun to steal 4000 bucks at Sun Plaza...actually, kinda stupid lo...like wad the other guys said...juz for 4000 bucks? NOt worth it!!!! Steal more la...aiyo...then got caught and for sure he's going to be hanged...that's what the law in Singapore says according to them...so ya...then Rahim related to us his story of his uncle who nearly got hanged for a similar offence...he said that last time in the olden days when he was young like 11 yrs old, he saw the 'machine gun'right in front of him with his own eyes...then he's uncle got caught but was only sentenced to jail term because only 1 day after his uncle was caught, did the government change the sentence for the crime on possesion of firearms illegally...that was like a damn narrow escape....


Then, Imran added on that his friend who prepares the cloth to cover the head for hanging ppl(..sorry...dunno wad its called...) , ya...he said that there was this guy who's body was covered with tatoos but when going into the room to be hanged he urinated like dunno wad...I mean knowing tt ur gonna die...man tt's scary...


Then somehow switched to the cases on drugs and car robbery in Malaysia...the topic was triggered when we saw this red Mazda car going off...then one of us commented that if that car's in Malaysia, the only thing that'll be left will be like the wheel or something....ok la...tt was like meant for a joke or something...so ya...the thing about car robbery is that its getting kinda frequent...especially for new cars....its easy to get stolen....and then they suggested maybe a good way to prevent it from happening will be to take out the sterering wheel and keep it with u....juz like mr bean....thinking about it, it may juz work...


Then after that Imran said his uncle was caught for drug trafficking..he was betrayed into brining in e drug or something...through his car....he doesn't even know tt there were drugs der...and then got caught and hanged...sad case...punished for something that he did not do....bastard 'frenz' lo...then they went on to say how easy it is for people to just slip in the packets of drugs under the cars...into bags and so on...ya...these days, anything can happen....


And then someway or another, the topic on rape come in...oh ya...now I remebered....it all started when we were talking about fishes and fishing and then Imran( again...he seems to hav alot of stories) said that he went fishing at sembawang with his members during his younger days....then he came across this girl who was crying...then he asked what happened and then she said she was raped or mosleste lo..I dunno which one la....then he asked where's the guy...so imran went to the place and so this guy who was wearing shorts and he then asked him to helped him push the sampan (.a kinda boat) towards the sea and then he did and the man went up behind him and then caressed his behind...he then turn around call his members and beat up that guy....really asshole lo...i mean the rapist/molester....wth lo...quoting from Imran "org macam ni kene ajar...kalo kite tak bikin, die bikin kat orang lain cam ne?"...translation would be..." these type of ppl need to be taught a lesson if we don't do it( beat him up), what if he do it(rape) on someone else? True la...that's what i think...


Ya....adult talk....very interesting insights...ya...they may be dirty minded but in terms of actions, I guess they detest it like anyone else....


Man...i think i'm going to stop here...tomorrow colect results...alrite...wish everyone for the best....tomorrow....


My greatest service is to upset you for in the process, you will learn.