Behind every smile there's a hidden meaning.
Behind every laughter; a covered feeling.
Behind spoken words lies something else.
Sometimes they don't seem to be what it seems.

Fine doesn't always go by definition.
Beneath the letters; a different story.

It takes the right person to understand...
It takes the right person to see...
It takes the right person to help...
But the right person...
Is too hard to come by...
So hard that one will wonder if there's even
A relic...

::: Are people seeing what I'm seeing? :::

Got what I wanted. I worked hard at it but looking back into those times...well I don't think it was that tough. Whatever it is, it is proven once more that hard work pays. So I guess that is the only formula for me for my upcoming 'O's. Anyway, mid year aside, I'll be on a new mission.

Embarked on my new operation today. Yeah, the result was disheartening but well, I expect the turnout. But I've inaugurated a Special Force...somewhat like the Composite 507th. And time is cooperating with me at least for now.

So I went to try out something new yesterday. It was my first time holding a cue.Went to Superbowl to play billiard or pool or whatever it is. The table was kind of small there. I find that the came was rather fun..I actually thought it was boring and to my surprise they have different types of games. I wasn't good at it. My ball keeps jumping and I was too anxious about it. Thanks to Shairazi and Badron for teaching me how to play. They seem to be kinda pro. It was an enriching experience. Thanks man...

On the way home I met Ms Haya and if I wasn't mistaken the fairings were composite. Nice one...

I visited some website regarding the SAF Scholarships. Oh my...the scholars were mostly from RJC or NJC. I wonder if I could get the scholorship if I were to be in another JC or Poly. I was relieved when they said that there is no quota as to how much recepeints there could be. So there's still chance for me. Nevertheless the criterias are a burden to grasp but its just one of those roadblocks to my dreams. Shall batter it down when the time comes.

Setting off on a journey, alone. Wish me luck.

::: Saying a wise and honest no is as good as any yes on any other day :::

First things first...Happy Birthday to my sis, Jason and Pei yan. May all of your wishes come true. Kick ass man!! Show the world what you've got.

Since primary school years, it's always a mere coincidence that I would have partners that are female and big size. I think it's kinda scary because they can like body slam me anytime...I'm that vulnerable..hahaz..juz kidding..anyway..it's true..a phenomenon that i would never understand...relative to their physical size, I should say that their hearts are as big...very kind and helpful people..and that's a compliment..so thanks to these people namely, Chu Peng, Diyana and Pei Yan. They've made my life in class less stressful. Wonderful people...

Just wanna sit and stare at you

Had a walk down memory lane today. You might think it is some kind of nature walk or something tranquil but hell it's far from that..but it's the meaningful place to me as of now..and that place would be the bustling Citylink. Each time I step out from City Hall MRT Station, wonderful images never cease to greet me and accompany as far as it could go. From the illegal plus dangerous stuff to a sweet walk to Suntec City. In times of the future I might just want to come back there..just to relive the moments..I'll guess that my attire would be the green camo. No. 4 uniform..with the rank on my shoulders...

Cinta Tragika

I guess I have relinquished in enlightening him..he still doesn't get it, does he? Looks like your efforts in puting things nicely for him had so called backfired. Not that the backfire is very bad but the worse part is..he still doesn't get it..just don't make my negative images come to reality...the pain from habouring those bloody images are painful enough...not that the images are produced by you..it's from me myself.

Lately, there is this series of movies that keeps playing in my mind. It's saturating my mind and it is baseless. It just pops up and I very well hate it. Some unleashed malice is also running around inside me. I hope I will have the jurisdiction over these stuff always...it seems that the matter is getting out of hand..but I know the only person who can eradicate these negative thoughts is me myself. Nevertheless, I need a team to support me behind. Well, I don't think I'll get it. I just have to do this alone I guess. Playing these negative movies inside my head is making me going bonkers and partaking in it is very unhealthy. Not very good at all...

All I hope for now is that what I think of or rather these images...I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope these bad images won't turn into reality because if they do...it means dicing with something not very nice...if it happens to be real..I will perhaps use all capacities of power to make sure that the guilt congeals in whosoever is involved. And I definitely don't want to do that...it's not going to be a very nice experience..I hate things going on reagrding me behind my back. Especially if they are rancid.

Tell yourself it won't happen. It won't. Too absurd. Too freakish. Out of the question. Look at the good side. Look and lock your eyes to that. Take a peep once in a while just to be on the safe side. But don't contemplate. You have the propensity of not being able to negate all possibilities..it's ok..it's ok...

My mission now is to get myself out of this grip. Only I can do it.

::: Pang of Desire :::

Alright..going to shake off some light-hearted tings here.

Was studying for e-math yesteday night when I came across the chapter in kinematics. The only and always first thing that comes acroos my mind when I see the word ‘kinematics’ is this short and rather plump lady. Miss Lena. Yes. She was the only one in my entire life who had said that I actually talk too much. What the hell? Me, talk too much? I might as well turn mute. Anyway, it is kinda funny I guess. Hahaz..I guess I cannot accept comments saying that I talk too much..

This goes to all Muslims. This is just a mere suggestion. Anyway, it is just base on personal experience. I usually read the Quran everyday. Not for ver long. Perhaps a few lines, a couple of minutes. It has become a rotine, an everyday thingy.. Anyway, a few days ago last weekend, I did not carry out as such for a period of time and somehow I felt rather different. It was like I had lost something and it affected quite badly. I could not really do the things I want and perhaps I felt heavy inside. I was restless, easily agitated and so on. Then I started reading it again on Monday and I sort of felt better. More calm and I do not feel helpless when facing problems. Dealing with them had become much easier. Not that my problems had vapourized totally, but sometimes it is just the way you deal with things. If you deal with them better, you will feel happier. And ya..I believe that if you wanna solve problems or rather make decisions let it be when you are in your neutral state. Not too happy, not too sad nor too angry. So yeah, when you feel remorseful or whatsoever, go read it, it will help.

With that, I shall now move on to..SUPERBIKES!!! Or is it sportbikes..arh..whateva.. The sudden crop of hihgly advanced bikes are making me pretty jumpy. Really they are cool and I saw the Suzuki V-Storm today and holy shit it is damn big.. It is about my height and man..it does look heavy and menacing as well. Anyway, my current favourites are the R1 and Hayabusa. Both because of its designs. But between the two I would rather have the R1. Hmm..and I sat on one before. Not that heavy, maybe I could handle it. Can’t wait to have my license. I want to reach 18!!!

Lyricss + pics

Jangan Pernah Tinggalkan Aku
Ajeng

Indah hari bila ku bersamamu
Dan bila ku disampingmu
Yang selalu berikan bahagia

Hanya kaulah yang slalu kudambakan
Dan selalu ku impikan
Didalam hidupku kau sangat berarti
Oh..

Jangan pernah tinggalkan aku
Karna ku sangat mencintaimu
Karna aku yang jadi milikmu
Tolonglah..

Jangan pernah tinggalkan aku
Bila ku sangat memerlukanmu
Bila ku sangat merindukanmu
Hanyalah satu kau untukku
Hanya kaulah yang slalu kudambakan
Dan selalu ku impikan
Didalam hidupku kau sangat berarti
Oh..

I finally decided to go back to watching tv. Currently I am glued to 2 shows, “First Mums” and “ Chase”. And I must say that Utt and Keagan are rather handsome. I am not gay but yar..they are comely, no doubt. Do not really have much to comment. I just caught 2 episodes. But then Gabriel is so pitiful. Waited so long for her then never get..well..I guess I just have to watch on. I am sure the outcome will be great.

“ How would you feel if someone you love, leaves you behind? “

Ponder over it..you can only find the answer if you experience it.

::: Is brave the opposite of afraid? :::

I got my hands on some chic pics today...very very nice..as put it by the magazine, THE INCREDIBLES....but I would rather have the aprilia to substitute the MV. Oh yeah, I like arse holes under tail lights, other than that not "jack" enuf...muahahaz..or maybe the hayabusa's double arse holes by the sides..


My R1..ohh...


This best represents a "Singa-pore" bike


hehez..my black beauty..arseholes below tail light..


yeah..ms haya...sister to suzi..long fat arseholes on both sides


ms suzi...known to be comfortable to ride on


The honda fireblade..this is one hot mama..


oh yeah..arseholes below the tail..juz like the firblade..

oh yar..one more thing..it seems that ms haya is the fastest bike arnd..seen it before..cool bikes...or rather sexy chics..hehez

::: Power corrupts :::

Currently in the state of want-to-write-something-but-dunno-wad-to-write. So this entry might be some bullshit.
Interesting, small things had happened to me in the mornings lately. Hahaz..

Had English exam yesterday. I think it was not that bad. Got back that feeling of jitters again. I was quite anxious not because that I am not prepared but its just plain nervous. Anyway it was cool. Hope that the outcome will be fairly good.

Battle plan is up. Will not say much. It is kinda top secret. I am goin to make sure that I pull off this one as perfectly as I can. You wanna fight? I think you just got one. Hahaz..

Sometimes I do wonder. What would you do if you are placed in a situation whereby almost everyting that you have will be gone? No matter how minute or meaningless it might be, what if most of them are to be taken away? One after another, as the things that you used to possess, things that you love so much, things that give you hope in life withdraw slowly from you. The very least of things that you can least be proud of. What if they were to be snatched away too? Would you grab the hilt of the knife and end your life? Would you be driven up the wall to such an extent? Apart from that, what if you have to go through all of it alone? How? Will you be able to cope? Are you going to take in all that bullets of negativity in lfe and let it pass? How about if these things that you treasure so much are to go and you are sitting there chained , knowing that they will go if not now later, are you going you going to go all out to save it? What if in the process you lose some of your other things as well? But then again, who would want to bother to even take a look at these petty things? Aha..of course there are people or rather morons out there that are rather heartless. I have not met any of them I think and I do not want to either for that matter. The just take those things from you, just for the fun of it. Nevertheless, what if your own friends are the ones who are taking away those stuff from you? What would you do then? Kill them? Leave them? Or let them be? Just because they are your friends? Are they really your friends then? But sometimes they take it unknowingly and it is just for the sake of improving themselves or for the benefit of others. Will you accept the justification or still count them as your foes instead of your friends? Tap your heart to find the answer( no, your heart is not an EZ-link machine). If you pay attention close enuf, you will also get to know whether your heart is a good one or otherwise.

Hmm.. this is my first entry with so many question marks. Hahaz.. 1 question 2 marks. No one word answer. Hahaz..nonsense..I think I will wonder about it for quite a while. Maybe there is no definite answer at all. Well, some things is best left alone. Some things you just have to let loose your grip on them abit. Relax and take a break. No use thinking too much anyway. Have to concentrate on yourself. Why be intimidated by others' capabilities? When someone surpass you, you only have yourself to blame.

::: What would you do? :::

Yestrerday morning, I completed reading KO Island. It is local written and yeah its damn good. It is one of the best that I have ever read. I read it from cover to cover in one sitting and so I actually slept only at 2:30 a.m just to complete the book. Too bad it is a library book. I would really like to have a copy of it. I don’t know if I woud want to search for it. Anyways, I strongly encourage the guys to read this book.

The story is about this bunch of people at a resort in one of the Indonesian islands. It was an isolated island and then they were attacked by a group of hard core pirates. Their rationale was to take the people in the resort as hostages ( which most are Singaporeans ) and demand ransom from thei families or governments. Then the captives someway or another managed to escape and they had to get help from the SAF. Before they arrived, the captives were to defend themselves against the pirates. The SAF then came and annihilated the entire clan of pirates. It seems that the storyline is simple but I can bet that it is actually much more interesting. It was very realistic and it some sort place me in the thick of the action as well. The story mainly highlights the importance of National Service and how helpful it is in times of trouble. Many personalities were explored throughout the book even though they were brief.

There is this one particular character in this story that captured my attention. He is one of the main characters by the name of Ling. He was at the resort for a meeting with his company and his boss is this guy by the name of Jek. Jek is also one of the main characters. Ling is a good man and he started off early in his career with the Army when he signed up for the joint-polytechnic scholarship. Then he proceed on with his NS and met Jek. Jek was also serving his NS and they were both close friends even though Jek was Ling’s superior. After Jek finished his NS, he left and futhered his studies while Ling stayed on as a regular. A few years later they met again when Jek was back for reservist and by then Ling was already a Warrant Officer Class 2 (WO2). But Ling was a different person. He did not seem cheerful as before and told Jek about his desire to work for him in his newly established company. Jek was taken aback of course as it was always Ling’s dream to be in the Army.

Ling was coerced to leave his career as there were things that reminded him of his past bad memories. One of them was his promising relationship with his loved one that turned into a nightmare. He was in love with Valerie his love since childhood and then they were about to get married when Val started to change. She seemed to try to break away with Ling and Ling thought that she was just stress from work. But things turned out to be ugly. Ling then knew that Val had fallen for another guy and was nor interested in him anymore. It must have really hurt him to belft like that but he understood that there is no way in which you can force love. So they broke up. It is tragic and I hope that my..ok I shan’t mention it...mine..different..So yar..then there were other bad experiences which led him to leave the Army.

Yeah..so its really a well written book. Nothing much had happened these days. I'm dying of boredom.

::: I'm born to understand :::