About malay guys...
Nothing to write for my entry...anyway in response to Lady Samurai's request then I shall share what's being discussed in a malay news article recently...Not a very long article...brief and conceivable...so here goes...
Before that, I would just like to say thatthe following is not a direct translation to the news article...but the substance is definitely based on it..
6 October 2004, Berita Harian, "Ekstra" section
On the surface there's mainly 6 reasons on why some Malay ladies prefer "foreign" guys to guys of thier own race...the reasons are being listed as such...
1. They are boring: Malay guys are not open as compared to other guys.
2. Afraid of their own shadow: Feels easily 'threatened' if his the lady has better qualification/education
3. Likes to 'rush' on things, ''kanchong'': Just met and is getting to know each other and he wants the lady to be his steady.
4. Commanding: Wants his lady to do what he says.
5. Gets jealous easily: The female party has to give constant ''reports'' on her whereabouts.
6. Female party does not receive the right to air their opinions.
Some Malay women feel that they are being ''trapped'' and uncomfortable with the character of such malay guys. Just when the couple is getting to know each other a bit better,the malay guy wants to move on into getting married. when the couple has taken the first few steps into loving each other, the male starts to "stick" closely with the female.When the ladies wants to voice out their opinions, the malay guy will feel unhappy. These are some of the perspectives that some Malay females are holding against the guys of their own race.
Going a bit more into detail, some personally feel that malay guys are not as chauvinistic as guys of other races. They feel that these guys wants to have overall power on everything. Other views stated that some Malay guys feels ''endangered upon meeting a lady of higher ''status'' or paper qualification. One of them, a student at NUS, said that "I have met some Malay guys that straight away take the distance once they get to know our standard of paper qualification. They themselves feel lowly of themselves". This character of being too humble drives some the malay guys into watching out for their partner twenty-four seven.
Relating to the issue on Malay guys being '' kanchong'', some feel that they do not have the breathing space that thay need and feels that these guys rush into things, like asking the female party to be his ''stead''. Like what one of the ladies, who is engaged with a Chines have said,'' Last time, when I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend, a malay instantly wants me to be his stead. He calls too often. Now isn't that irritating?''
Other than that some also feel that, Malay guys wants everything to be done theri way and does not leave room for discussion and so on. Quoting one of the Malay ladies," They don't undrstand that I want a relationship whereby there is equal and balanced power between both parties. I don't like to be told to this and that."
However some feel that skin colour cannot be taken as a measure for one's character and personality. One of these group of women feels that stereotypes against both men and women has to be destroyed as they are not fair and justifiable. To her, a person's character is the reason on why those men in the way that have been described are acting in such a way and it has nothing to do with skin colour.
So ya..basically that's it... some parts are repetitions though... my opinion to this is that some parts of it can be quite true but I don'y think this applies to a large number of us even though I don't have a reason to beleive as such. I think the reason on why some Malay guys ''observe'' their partner's whereabouts and so on is because of this rule that is staetd un the Islamic law. The rule states mentioned that in a married couple, the husband will be held responsible or his wife's and children's acts...If they create sins on earth, the husband will be involvedand will be the one answerable in the afterlife. But this only appies to husband and wife...even so I believe that it should be done moderately and not to the extent of making the spouse hand in daily "reports" on their daily routine and all that sort of stuff...even after marriage I think that each individual should have at least personal space of their own. Anyway my stand is that every person is different thus a different perspective has to be adopted on each different individual. Like what one of the Malay ladies have said, we can't judge a person's character or personality according to their race...anyway to those girls and females out there, Malay guys are not that bad...if they are, why would the beautiful Diyana Malik marry the handsome Aaron Aziz, right?
::: Don't let the past hold u back; u're missing the good stuff :::
Before that, I would just like to say thatthe following is not a direct translation to the news article...but the substance is definitely based on it..
6 October 2004, Berita Harian, "Ekstra" section
On the surface there's mainly 6 reasons on why some Malay ladies prefer "foreign" guys to guys of thier own race...the reasons are being listed as such...
1. They are boring: Malay guys are not open as compared to other guys.
2. Afraid of their own shadow: Feels easily 'threatened' if his the lady has better qualification/education
3. Likes to 'rush' on things, ''kanchong'': Just met and is getting to know each other and he wants the lady to be his steady.
4. Commanding: Wants his lady to do what he says.
5. Gets jealous easily: The female party has to give constant ''reports'' on her whereabouts.
6. Female party does not receive the right to air their opinions.
Some Malay women feel that they are being ''trapped'' and uncomfortable with the character of such malay guys. Just when the couple is getting to know each other a bit better,the malay guy wants to move on into getting married. when the couple has taken the first few steps into loving each other, the male starts to "stick" closely with the female.When the ladies wants to voice out their opinions, the malay guy will feel unhappy. These are some of the perspectives that some Malay females are holding against the guys of their own race.
Going a bit more into detail, some personally feel that malay guys are not as chauvinistic as guys of other races. They feel that these guys wants to have overall power on everything. Other views stated that some Malay guys feels ''endangered upon meeting a lady of higher ''status'' or paper qualification. One of them, a student at NUS, said that "I have met some Malay guys that straight away take the distance once they get to know our standard of paper qualification. They themselves feel lowly of themselves". This character of being too humble drives some the malay guys into watching out for their partner twenty-four seven.
Relating to the issue on Malay guys being '' kanchong'', some feel that they do not have the breathing space that thay need and feels that these guys rush into things, like asking the female party to be his ''stead''. Like what one of the ladies, who is engaged with a Chines have said,'' Last time, when I just broke up with my ex-boyfriend, a malay instantly wants me to be his stead. He calls too often. Now isn't that irritating?''
Other than that some also feel that, Malay guys wants everything to be done theri way and does not leave room for discussion and so on. Quoting one of the Malay ladies," They don't undrstand that I want a relationship whereby there is equal and balanced power between both parties. I don't like to be told to this and that."
However some feel that skin colour cannot be taken as a measure for one's character and personality. One of these group of women feels that stereotypes against both men and women has to be destroyed as they are not fair and justifiable. To her, a person's character is the reason on why those men in the way that have been described are acting in such a way and it has nothing to do with skin colour.
So ya..basically that's it... some parts are repetitions though... my opinion to this is that some parts of it can be quite true but I don'y think this applies to a large number of us even though I don't have a reason to beleive as such. I think the reason on why some Malay guys ''observe'' their partner's whereabouts and so on is because of this rule that is staetd un the Islamic law. The rule states mentioned that in a married couple, the husband will be held responsible or his wife's and children's acts...If they create sins on earth, the husband will be involvedand will be the one answerable in the afterlife. But this only appies to husband and wife...even so I believe that it should be done moderately and not to the extent of making the spouse hand in daily "reports" on their daily routine and all that sort of stuff...even after marriage I think that each individual should have at least personal space of their own. Anyway my stand is that every person is different thus a different perspective has to be adopted on each different individual. Like what one of the Malay ladies have said, we can't judge a person's character or personality according to their race...anyway to those girls and females out there, Malay guys are not that bad...if they are, why would the beautiful Diyana Malik marry the handsome Aaron Aziz, right?
::: Don't let the past hold u back; u're missing the good stuff :::