Recently, I seemed to change, sort of emotionally. Feel like my heart has been exchanged with someone else's. Seemed to be in a new skin. Before this, I have been fond of her despite all the measures taken to prevent from being enticed by her. I can't even find a robust stand. A concrete and lucid reason. I know. I know that if I let my feelings run free, I will be inviting trouble. The negative ramifications of love. It's way too troublesome and inconvenient. But now, I dun seem to feel anything for her. My feelings for her had been eradicated. Yes, before this I was thrown into a state of quandary, not knowing which way to choose. Should I be thankful that I have been gifted with the ability to love others or take it as a disadvantage to me in achieving success in this world?
I don't know. I've no idea whether the state I'm in is temporary. A temporary aberration. Or will I return to my normal self after the exams? This is so weird...maybe it is help from God to keep me focus on other more important things. Yet today when I saw her, I could not help feeling 'abashed'. Don’t know what's the feeling called...Tried to act normal as possible. After writing this long, I've come to realize that I don't know a lot of things...a lot of question marks...

Anyway...today I had my eng exam. Can say that I'm in deep crap. Didn't separate the summary from the comprehension. Well...I don't feel guilty at all...I've read the instructions and I know that I'm not in the wrong. No such instruction was given...but that is not what is going to bring me into deep shit. It's the state of my summary that is. It was such a mess. Cancellations here and there and I never leave a line in between. I can almost envisage Miss Lim tearing my paper into pieces and throw them in front of my face. Going to get a scathing chiding from her...especially when I'm the English Rep...what the hell..Whatever…

Going to run tomorrow morning. To distress I guess. I hope that I will no be too lazy to do it. I received some Jap songs from Hei Wai today. Thanks a lot Hei Wai.. Man, they rock…listening to them now while I’m typing...got to end off here...need to go back to studying...

::: So Confused :::