This morning's weather and yesterday's dream had driven me to submit this entry...the weather was perfect ...provide me with the environment to jot this all down..suddenly had the inspiration...is this a dead end for this feeling? Definitely not...I live by my rules..nothing is impossible and impossible is nothing...

This goes specially for that person out there..hope you'll believe the following stuff..cuz its what i really feel...the truth of all truths...After realeasing all these, i don't think I'm left with much space to turn back...however, all measures and plans are set...to accomodate the ramifications that is probably going to take place..anyway...I can only predict..beyond that god knows what's going to happen..maybe nothing will ...

The Unstoppable Cycle

After she left quite some time ago...i know that this my golden chance of having to stop it...a chance to stab into the spokes of the wheel..I've executed steps to adhere myself from receiving another of those cupid's arrows..well..eventually I was defeated...the first few months eemed to be promising...showed me signsof victory over this battle...but a fact remains as a fact..I didn't have the ability to stop it all..my life took a different route from that day onwards I was being 'imprisoned' and suffered quite a lot..it affected many aspects of my life...and the cycle repeats itself..another person came into my life..

Where's the reason?

Couldn't find a reason..till now I still couldn't..I've ransacked everything inside me..but to no vail..Why? What's so good about her? what about her that had been buried inside this heart's soil as a seedling..growing and grooming as time passes by..but then..I foresee what's coming...the fruit of this tree..will always stay poisonous..finally I'm force to conclude that..there's no lucid reason for me to love you...so now a new question surfaces...does a person needs a reason to love? I don't know..why don't you tell me...

You and Me

Since that day..I was forced to cross-examine both ofus..and found out that we do have a number of similarities...there were too many to be considered as coincidences...although some are petite and close to meaningless...I believe they should still be taken into account..I was quite fed up that I went to the extent of compiling them and scribbled them into a list..so my question is..are we meant to be together? I mean..we share the same thoughts,dislikes and so on..but does that really mean that we are compatible? Both a yes and no answer will be disputable...

So what now?

There's one philosophy which I will hold till my life ends..that is to be a man of rational..do things that are necessary,requisite...thus I've made my final decision...I shall let you pass..but the love foryou will stay and stand as a memorial...letting you pass doesn't mean I've abdicated in loving you..my withdrawal has nothing to do with giving up..there are reasons on why i can't tell you how I feel..and I shall expose them now..

Pieces that forms up my decision..

My religion..yeah..describe me as a devout person or whatsoever..I dun care..i've faith in my religion..and I believe that by following their advices i'll stay out of unnecessary troubles..next...the difference in our status..it will pose problems if I we were to form that kind of relationship...you live in a life of luxury and I don't want to accomadate to that..it will inflict negative things on me...going on to the next reason..the ppl around me..my family,my frenz and so on..this string of relationship if being formed between us will burn down hopes..frenships..so I might as well forget about it..in addition..i'm enjoying the current bond between us..I don't want to destroy it..if I tell you i love you..things might not be the same again...don't call me coward...I hate that...cuz i'm surely not one and im not going to become one...like i've said earlier..I do things only if it's beneficial...a man of rational..so yes..I'm happy enough with the way things are now..it's the best situation..hard to admit but i have to cuz it is...anyway its not the right time for us to tie ourselves down with such things..

Why am i writing this..

Some of you may think...what am i trying to achieve here by writng all this..especially when I won't release the girl's name...the reason is I juz want to say that I'm not letting her know how i feel becuz i dun dare to...it's due to the reasons that I've stated before..I'm not going for you not becuz i'm not brave enough..anyway..u might not even want me to do so..juz want to reiterate myself that it is because of the reasons as explained above that had kept me from reaching out for your heart...

So I shall now ring down the curtain..i shall not be able to go for you..but I have a wish and it's up to you to make it come true...and that is only if you can show me ur side..chances are slim that you'll let me know cuz you don't even know it's you...some of you might think...if i do'nt tell her..how in the hell will she be able to let me know..all i can say is...too bad...if i tell her there might be aberrations...and I don't want that...the best cure for me now is to know that she has the same feeling towards me..even then...zero attempts to building that bond between me and her..for the sake of others...it shall not happen ...at all costs...

::: You won't even know it's you :::