Senses
Feel like passing through space. No forces acting on me but I'm moving steadily through. No presence of power-just moving on and on.
I would just like to share a few simple words elicited from some book. Kind of describe my present condition.
" If it is not given me to know the course of time, then the best I can do is to be attentive, to watch carefully what is happening, to feel out the direction, to sense what movement I can. "
No use ramming the wall head on again and again in the darkness. The best thing to do is to be on my feet. Going against the wall with hope that it would break down is not entirely favourable. For the wall itself may be in place for my own protection. The best is to stay cool.
Very tempted to wage a war. Do whatever it takes to hurt. I'm even presented with clear chances. But my conscience is still with me. And as long as I'm not yet senile, I'll do anything to deter myself from inflicting pain unless its inevitable. So far I've manage to oust such evil desires. Perhaps what's stopping me is the following doctrine that had been planted in me.
" When the impulse to hurt and I follow that, I feel like a betrayer, and the I has gone out of me."
A few more months left. As much as I don't want to, I hope it'll be over soon.
It has been quite a while since I felt what I felt yesterday towards the class. Pretty frustrated. Luckily there was still energy left to contain and lock it down inside me. And I'm starting to seriously dislike her. Damn...she's so freaking petty and rigid. Can't she be more flexible? I just hope I won't be push into despising her. This is definitely beyond doubt the worst time for such things.
It has been quite a while since Mr Singh taught me. Today's session of about an hour or so was great. I didn't realize that I had turned more quiet now. Nevermind... I 'll just try to make more noise. But I don't think the people around where I' m seating now in class will aquiesce to that. Sometimes I can be a nuisance. If there are to be more of such sessions I'll try to be more engaging. I guess I'm just glad that you came back to teach again even for just perhaps one lesson. Really enjoyed being in your class. It's still a wonder that I could still think even though its given that it was at the end of the day.And yes Mr Singh I do still like girls. I don't think you would expect me to like boys right? And no I wasn't "looking monsterously at some girl infront" of me. What the heck? You don't happen to know about that too, do you? Hahaz..I would like it very much if you could take over our class but I think wishes will remain as wishes. Not that other teachers are lousy or what but it's just that I'm comfortable with your style of teaching. I think you manage to bring back my literatical senses back to me. That's kinda cool. Thanks... :)
Have been taking painkillers of songs. Music is just getting greater by the day.
::: As much as I like you, I would like to forget you :::
I would just like to share a few simple words elicited from some book. Kind of describe my present condition.
" If it is not given me to know the course of time, then the best I can do is to be attentive, to watch carefully what is happening, to feel out the direction, to sense what movement I can. "
No use ramming the wall head on again and again in the darkness. The best thing to do is to be on my feet. Going against the wall with hope that it would break down is not entirely favourable. For the wall itself may be in place for my own protection. The best is to stay cool.
Very tempted to wage a war. Do whatever it takes to hurt. I'm even presented with clear chances. But my conscience is still with me. And as long as I'm not yet senile, I'll do anything to deter myself from inflicting pain unless its inevitable. So far I've manage to oust such evil desires. Perhaps what's stopping me is the following doctrine that had been planted in me.
" When the impulse to hurt and I follow that, I feel like a betrayer, and the I has gone out of me."
A few more months left. As much as I don't want to, I hope it'll be over soon.
It has been quite a while since I felt what I felt yesterday towards the class. Pretty frustrated. Luckily there was still energy left to contain and lock it down inside me. And I'm starting to seriously dislike her. Damn...she's so freaking petty and rigid. Can't she be more flexible? I just hope I won't be push into despising her. This is definitely beyond doubt the worst time for such things.
It has been quite a while since Mr Singh taught me. Today's session of about an hour or so was great. I didn't realize that I had turned more quiet now. Nevermind... I 'll just try to make more noise. But I don't think the people around where I' m seating now in class will aquiesce to that. Sometimes I can be a nuisance. If there are to be more of such sessions I'll try to be more engaging. I guess I'm just glad that you came back to teach again even for just perhaps one lesson. Really enjoyed being in your class. It's still a wonder that I could still think even though its given that it was at the end of the day.And yes Mr Singh I do still like girls. I don't think you would expect me to like boys right? And no I wasn't "looking monsterously at some girl infront" of me. What the heck? You don't happen to know about that too, do you? Hahaz..I would like it very much if you could take over our class but I think wishes will remain as wishes. Not that other teachers are lousy or what but it's just that I'm comfortable with your style of teaching. I think you manage to bring back my literatical senses back to me. That's kinda cool. Thanks... :)
Have been taking painkillers of songs. Music is just getting greater by the day.
::: As much as I like you, I would like to forget you :::