Life is getting monotonous...but heck about it...anyways...it was friday the day before yesterday and somehow another interesting thing took place...1st part of the day..hockey as usual..very determined...to focus and pay my fullest attention towards training..and wallah...I've improved a lot in my stickwork..."today syamil so violent.."omar was saying...haha..sorry about that yar...next time round find another partner alright...hahaz..he suffered i guess cuz I was like using the whole strength in me to do my pushings and hittings...not much time not much time..my mind was saying...next february tournament will commence...looking at the current squad...it would already be quite an achievement if we were to maintain our top 8 position...that is getting knocked out at the quater finals...haiz...all i can do is..to do my best in whatever role that i'm given...hockey...dying...so sad...

anyways..i was feeling kind of sanguine throughout the training..feeling better..when going back to the canteen...i was surprised though..won't mention why...unexpected things do happen when you least expected it to be...

Went home after friday prayers...as soon as i reached home i bath and then reach out for my pillow and went into a slumber...before i went into the comfort of my bed...my mother told me that i've to babysit my little brother that afternoon because she was going out...i was like yar yar...it was barely and hour when my mother tried to wake me up and told to take care of this and that...she was like nagging...suddenly i was overwhelmed with a spate of ire...when my parents were out of the house... my condition worsen...i was lying on my bed staring into the ceiling...i was filled up with so much anger then...it nearly became out of control...this was the first time i was feeling such a way...then i remembered banging my desk and the computer keyboard...i don't know why I became so furious...it took me quite a long time to appease my anger...i really hope that i do not have to go through such a thing in my life ever again...cuz i was feeling like wanting to kill someone...i barely had control over myself...maybe it's becuz of the mounting problems i'm facing currently...i need an angel to help me...the absence of motivation and patience was proven to be too hard for me to bear...haiz...supposed to do some schoolwork but then...spent that afternoon trying to placate myself...get hold of yourself syamil..i was saying to myself...but my the fire in me overruled all the systems in me...anger had gotten the better of me...and i shall not let it happen again...never...

::: the harder you work, the luckier you seem to get :::